Sunday, December 4, 2011

FOOD JOKES 4- INSPIRATION FROM THE ANCIENT ROMANS GOURMET

FOOD JOKES 4-
INSPIRATION FROM THE ANCIENT ROMANS GOURMET
My last personal post was my #100  and from  the feedback i received via my comment box and emails, i promised myself then, that i will be more versatile in my postings. This blog  is  not meant  to  post only food recipes, but also cover other areas on foodie, where, there is something for everyone to appreciate.
My #100 post has no recipe but i did link it to one of my older recipe, in case, anybody wants to view.
This is in consideration that there are some  of my blogger friends and visitors who do not enjoy cooking or are not looking for recipes to follow, except only sometimes.. They just like to come over as regulars...
To most of my blogger friends and regular visitors, who are more familiar with my blog, may have noticed that i have  a passion for the  ancient roman culinary and with my unpredictable sense of humor, i have cracked up some clean crisp jokes on gourmet food-  inspiration from the ancient Romans....stay tuned

DEFINATION OF 'GOURMET'' BY THE ANCIENT ROMANS
IN ‘PERSON” GOURMET defination--The term gourmet may refer to a person with refined or discriminating taste or to one that is knowledgeable in the art of food and and food preparation.
IN “FOOD” GOURMET definition- Gourmet may describe a class of restaurant, cuisine meal or ingredient of high quality, of special presentation, or high sophistication.
The Andean flamingo, is one of the rarest flamingos in the world. It has a pale pink body with brighter upper parts and is the only flamingo species with yellow legs and three toed feet..  ooh, very classy and rare..
Hey, why do flamingos always stand on one leg? Can you give me the answer :).....
One of the the delicacies of the ancient Romans is the "Flamingo tongue" - i have the recipe if you want- no problem, on the house..


Remember, my recent guest blogger, Cindyrina, on Forbidden love in Beijing..http://www.princesscindyrina.blogspot.com/
.Her neighborhod was robbed many times and they also saw two prowlers in front of  her house one night. 
Of course she was not scared-  she has the whole house lights  switched   on, until morning, everyday... She even  put a notice at her door- A BIG ONE, IT SAYS:- 
Ooh, this is such a brave thing to do...BRAVO :) to you cindyrina
In an exclusive restaurant on Roman gourmet cuisine- 
Here is a conversation between Mr Harry Trout, a gourmet diner and The chief waiter in charge ( also a gourmet of course).


Mr Harry Trout: Do you have a “ONE-DISH MEAL”, gourmet classified ?

Chief waiter: Yes Sir, you name it, we have it. We have "Shore Dinners" and other "Combination Platters" with oysters, lobster, crabs, scallops, shrimps, mushrooms, tomatoes, meat, chicken etc  etc— each article prepared separately, BUT when served together will form an integral part of ONE DISH. We called this a ONE-DISH MEAL  Sir 

Mr Harry Trout : How fresh are your oysters?

Chief waiter: There is no way to keep ostrea (oysters) fresh and alive except in their natural habitat — which is in the (sea) salt water Sir.
I guess the only way English oysters could have arrived fresh in Imperial Rome was in those specially constructed “bottoms” of the ship Sir. But once they are onshore (land), we have no other better way than to pack them in barrels, feed them with oatmeal and make them put on weights.

Mr Harry Trout: mmm…. What is your specialty for lunch today?

Chief waiter: Sir, we have “Flamingo tongue from the ancient Roman.”

tMr Harry Trout: Wow! that’s real gourmet , I like the 100 yrs old- pickled tongue- 4 pieces please.

Chief waiter: Sorry sir, we don’t have 100 year old pickled  “Flamingo tongue”. In our case, the tongue is 1 week old- frozen, but the recipe is based on the ancient Roman’s.  However, we are allowed to serve only 2 pieces for each platter, four pieces is meant for the king and 3 for his queen Sir.

Mr Harry Trout: Too much protocol. I boycott that menu. Do you serve gaming birds as well?

Chief waiter:  No game birds today sir, if u insist Mister Lover of Luxury, please pay deposit for the bird plus air freight, come back in a week, we will get supply for you from our branch in Nepal. Only game birds from the Himalayas are available- those from other parts of the world are protected species…like the Andean .

Mr Harry Trout: What about my 10 year old son here, what have you got for him to eat?

Chief waiter: Oh Sir, don’t worry, our back neighbor is Mc Donald, we can have them sent over and then  we serve Mc D to your son on a “Queen Anne” silver platter with
a bright pink tomato sauce as dip (tomato sauce + mayo= bright pink)  
plus purple color potato fries to complete the one dish meal-
yeah, in it’s own class of Psychedelic colors.

Mr Harry Trout: Alright, but is that Mc D food, gourmet enough? I wonder… I don’t want any junk food for my son ok…

Chief  waiter: When the  Foodie scientists were able to brilliantly preserved the burger fillings for more than 2 years, I guess the ancient Romans will classify this Mc D as gourmet Sir… between fish, chicken and beef burger fillings, I would recommend 'CHICKEN FOR CHILDREN' Sir. 
When a person is not on a healthy diet and is too crazy over FAST FOOD, this is how he sees and examines the world’s brains and compares them to Fast food.
My 13 year old nephew said- Those astronauts have exhausted most of their brain with folds that are fully loaded with outer space knowledge, there is no space left for me to use their brain to learn earthly knowledge. Fully utilized brain, I would say they are only worth only about fifty dollars each. Yet, i won’t buy.

Those engineers, bankers, lawyers etc have exhausted their brains even more, with additional  overtime work until  their brain folds, fall flat everyday... Over utilized to the core, I would say their brains are only worth between twenty to thirty dollars each. Oh, i wont buy.

 I see  those  mc donald guys brains, were hardly being used, not many folds, must be still fresh and so full of space, pretty much the same like yester years, minimal change.. I am willing to pay ten thousand dollars for a pair of their brains. This I will buy!! i can eat mc donald for free too.

After the above jokes, HAZEL said: ”I have gone NUTS”, COCO said: “me too” 
Do visit cooking varieties coconut smoothies recipe- link here:
http://cooking-varieties.blogspot.com/2011/03/coconut-and-dragon-fruit-smoothies-or.html


GARAM MASALA PLEASE-

Cooking in most Indian, Pakistani and Punjabi dishes like curry and briyani rice.. Santosh, my guest blogger, in her post ,wrote on garam masala. Another blogger friend, Sarang Mangi , a guy who does not cook, posted a comment, He said- “ Garam masala reminds me of my aunt’s briyani ( flavored rice), When we eat that biryani, smoke starts from our ears…”

ha ha ha from your ears Sarang Mangi, wow! after that, where did the smoke go to huh? 
The smoke goes to the sky and form clouds, and then the clouds go to your city and starts raining :) ha ha ha

If you have any Foodie jokes to share, please put it down in my comment box, I may just publish them in my future Food jokes post. Thank you – smile, an everlasting smile
To whom it may concern… PLEASE DO NOT COPY MY JOKES WITHOUT MY WRITTEN PERMISSION…THEY ARE MY OWN ORIGINALS..

50 comments:

  1. Hi Wan! FUN post! Your friend was very brave indeed to put that sign on her door (and she's completely right!) Have a GREAT week and (again) congratulations on 100 posts...101 now!

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  4. hahaha..way to go CindyRina..and I was laughing Wan..wondering what time did your friend ate his dish..passing by Wan..thank you for visiting me again..*hugs* ;)

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  5. Happy 100th post Wan! this 101st was really fun...

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  6. Lol! I don't understand what people see in a McDonald's burger or any other hamburger. It taste terrible and the consistence is not even close to meat.
    I love curry!!!!!!!!!!
    I always have it at home and when I'm preparing something that I think will not have a good taste... curry if possible. hehe
    "Don't-know-cooking tip". :)

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  7. Wan! thank you for mentioned..... hahahaha.... we have a GGGRRRRREEEAAATTT CHIEF WAITER there!!! he deserve employee of the year vote!

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  8. nice to write something that tickles for a change besides on recipes Maznah. Keep going and looking for more of your creative write-ups.

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  9. LOL! This is fun. You are indeed a versatile blogger. I like all your jokes. Keep posting in intervals with recipes. :)

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  10. Congratulations on 100 posts! Thank you for sharing some fun here.

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  11. I think, this is not 100th or 101th post of Wan. This is 103th post of Wan.

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  12. I think, this is not 100th or 101th post of Wan. This is 103th post of Wan.

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  13. this is ur nicest post i like it ver

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  14. ohh....wow...wat a fantastic post dear..
    love it..

    I've got some awards for you..:) drop by to collect it..Cheers..!
    Luv,
    Jay
    Tasty Appetite

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  15. Heartiest congratulations to you for your 100th post. Very beautifully written. Creative writing.

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  16. hi Ann, thanks for your visit and yes, rina did a great by giving a warning notice to the burglars, like as if , they have good sense of humor, like her.. she is lucky, they were cool about it ha ha

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  17. hi IBG, thanks for commenting this post is COOL..ha ha and for the heart ..i got your mail,thanks for being my real follower as in your mail..have a nice day to you and hi to antalya...

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  18. Hi Sie, many thanks for your visit, where's quiet angle? oh ok saw him already... wow you sure are very funny, the guy took almost an hour to get his order executed, not yet, taking into account waiting for meal to be cooked.heh heh...cool eh!

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  19. Hi Jasna, yes thanks for the great wish, that time you were on holiday.. else i would have asked you to bake a cake for me..have a nice day

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  20. hi Ana, wow looks like we always something in common, i dont like mc D too, we always make fun of this and i also like curry ha ha.. have a nice day

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  21. hi cindyrina, thank for coming, hey , you have the chief, he is very expensive, i will intro him to you ok..no need to go to the bahamas..hava a nice day and many thanks for sharing your joke with us

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  22. hi Nava, thanks for the visit and i agree to your suggestion, need to blog away from food from time to time

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  23. hi balqis, tahnks for coming over, am glad you genuinely like my jokes, i know your style..have a nice day

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  24. hi angie, thanks for coming over, glad you like this post, great to unwind. have a wonderful day..

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  25. hi yummy chunklet, glad to have you liking my post, have a wonderful day,,, hi to chunklet and mama

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  26. hi santosh, thanks so much for coming over, have a wonderful day dear and thanks too for your compliments

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  27. hi jay, glad you came and like this post, we all need to laugh out loud sometimes..

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  28. hi Babli, thanks for coming, yes, thanks for your compliments..oh ok i do write well. have a nice day

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  29. hi christene, thanks and welcome. have a nice day.

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  30. Flamingo tongue? Hahahahaha.... Where do you get all these Jokes about roman dishes? Hopefully you don't try the flamingo tongue tough. lol.....

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  31. OMG, where do you get these much informations? You are really rocking.

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  32. hi lunaticg, thanks a lot for your visit..The way i do it is, i get the facts- ie.Flamingo has always been a rare delicacy to the ancient romans.with that fact, i turn it into a joke - that's my style..so the joke is mine, i never copied... that's the way i do it in my blog.

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  33. hi uma, thanks for coming over ...The way i do i do my jokes are- i get the facts- ie.Gourmet originated from the Romans, that's a fact- then i turn that word 'gourmet' into a joke - that's my style..so the joke is mine, i never copied... that's the way i do it in my blog.

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  34. Really admire Cindyrina boldness to come up with such a notice. This is so entertaining! Look forward to another hilarious post....

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  35. Hi Wan, very interesting posting and nice variety too. Variety always is the spice of life. Love those beautiful flamingos.....
    Re Cindy and her sign, yes, that is innovative of her.

    Old days when I was away out of town very often, I had a big, ferocious trained guard dog, a black Doberman....
    And he doesn't take prisoners....
    My home with my 3 cars was one of the few that was not broken into except one, when I laid a booby trap and almost caught that 'orang minyak.'

    Love the humorous conversation here re the seafood, ha ha.
    Have a nice day, and keep a song in your heart.
    Lee.

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  36. hi treat and trick, rina's actions attracted a lot of bloggers to comment on this- cos she did an unusual thing, that's when i decided to post it here. glad you like the jokes. have a nice day..

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  37. Wow!!! Lovely and amazing dear..

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  38. Hi Lee, thanks so much for coming over and liking my post, especially the seafood- roman gourmet.. I like it very much too.

    Especially the witty waiter.. Oh Mister, Lover of luxury…
    I gave the jokes a satirical touch.. in fact I find Foodie jokes , just as fun as posting recipes and really wish, at least one of my Foodie blogger friends here, also post Foodie jokes once in a while.
    have a wonderful day

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  39. hi zareena, thanks for the visit and comment.do have a nice day

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  40. flamingo tongue?ooh, i cant imagine myself eating that! i alsl think cindyrina is so brave to write that note!

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  41. Excellent and humorous post! Gave me a big grin!!

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  42. Hi lena,thanks for your visit, rina was very brave, i would'nt dare..its like a challenge.. have a nice day

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  43. Hi Diana. very cute eh that Coco and Hazel..have a nice day and many thanks for coming over.

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  44. hi marie, thanks for coming and liking my post. have a nice day

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  45. Oh.. lols.:)) I love this post!:) And the chief waiter was very smart!:) Can you introduce me to him??? lols.. Sorry i was late!:)) Thanks Wan for this post!:)

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  46. Very nice blog you have here - congrats on 100 posts! :)

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