FOOD JOKES 4- INSPIRATION FROM THE ANCIENT ROMANS GOURMET

FOOD JOKES 4-
INSPIRATION FROM THE ANCIENT ROMANS GOURMET

My last personal post was my #100  and from  the feedback i received via my comment box and emails, i promised myself then, that i will be more versatile in my postings. This blog  is  not meant  to  post only food recipes, but also cover other areas on foodie, where, there is something for everyone to appreciate.
My #100 post has no recipe but i did link it to one of my older recipe, in case, anybody wants to view.
This is in consideration that there are some  of my blogger friends and visitors who do not enjoy cooking or are not looking for recipes to follow, except only sometimes.. They just like to come over as regulars...
To most of my blogger friends and regular visitors, who are more familiar with my blog, may have noticed that i have  a passion for the  ancient roman culinary and with my unpredictable sense of humor, i have cracked up some clean crisp jokes on gourmet food-  inspiration from the ancient Romans....stay tuned

DEFINATION OF 'GOURMET'' BY THE ANCIENT ROMANS

IN ‘PERSON” GOURMET defination--The term gourmet may refer to a person with refined or discriminating taste or to one that is knowledgeable in the art of food and and food preparation.

IN “FOOD” GOURMET definition- Gourmet may describe a class of restaurant, cuisine meal or ingredient of high quality, of special presentation, or high sophistication.

The Andean flamingo, is one of the rarest flamingos in the world. It has a pale pink body with brighter upper parts and is the only flamingo species with yellow legs and three toed feet..  ooh, very classy and rare..
Hey, why do flamingos always stand on one leg? Can you give me the answer :).....

One of the the delicacies of the ancient Romans is the "Flamingo tongue" - i have the recipe if you want- no problem, on the house..

Remember, my recent guest blogger, Cindyrina, on Forbidden love in Beijing..http://www.princesscindyrina.blogspot.com/
.Her neighborhod was robbed many times and they also saw two prowlers in front of  her house one night. 
Of course she was not scared-  she has the whole house lights  switched   on, until morning, everyday... She even  put a notice at her door- A BIG ONE, IT SAYS:- 

Ooh, this is such a brave thing to do...BRAVO :) to you cindyrina

In an exclusive restaurant on Roman gourmet cuisine- 

Here is a conversation between Mr Harry Trout, a gourmet diner and The chief waiter in charge ( also a gourmet of course).


Mr Harry Trout: Do you have a “ONE-DISH MEAL”, gourmet classified ?

Chief waiter: Yes Sir, you name it, we have it. We have "Shore Dinners" and other "Combination Platters" with oysters, lobster, crabs, scallops, shrimps, mushrooms, tomatoes, meat, chicken etc  etc— each article prepared separately, BUT when served together will form an integral part of ONE DISH. We called this a “ONE-DISH MEAL”   Sir 

Mr Harry Trout : How fresh are your oysters?

Chief waiter: There is no way to keep ostrea (oysters) fresh and alive except in their natural habitat — which is in the (sea) salt water Sir.

I guess the only way English oysters could have arrived fresh in Imperial Rome was in those specially constructed “bottoms” of the ship Sir. But once they are onshore (land), we have no other better way than to pack them in barrels, feed them with oatmeal and make them put on weights.

Mr Harry Trout: mmm…. What is your specialty for lunch today?

Chief waiter: Sir, we have “Flamingo tongue from the ancient Roman.”

tMr Harry Trout: Wow! that’s real gourmet , I like the 100 yrs old- pickled tongue- 4 pieces please.

Chief waiter: Sorry sir, we don’t have 100 year old pickled  “Flamingo tongue”. In our case, the tongue is 1 week old- frozen, but the recipe is based on the ancient Roman’s.  However, we are allowed to serve only 2 pieces for each platter, four pieces is meant for the king and 3 for his queen Sir.

Mr Harry Trout: Too much protocol. I boycott that menu. Do you serve gaming birds as well?

Chief waiter:  No game birds today sir, if u insist Mister Lover of Luxury, please pay deposit for the bird plus air freight, come back in a week, we will get supply for you from our branch in Nepal. Only game birds from the Himalayas are available- those from other parts of the world are protected species…like the Andean .

Mr Harry Trout: What about my 10 year old son here, what have you got for him to eat?

Chief waiter: Oh Sir, don’t worry, our back neighbor is Mc Donald, we can have them sent over and then  we serve Mc D to your son on a “Queen Anne” silver platter with
a bright pink tomato sauce as dip (tomato sauce + mayo= bright pink)  
plus purple color potato fries to complete the one dish meal-
yeah, in it’s own class of Psychedelic colors.

Mr Harry Trout: Alright, but is that Mc D food, gourmet enough? I wonder… I don’t want any junk food for my son ok…

Chief  waiter: When the  Foodie scientists were able to brilliantly preserved the burger fillings for more than 2 years, I guess the ancient Romans will classify this Mc D as gourmet Sir… between fish, chicken and beef burger fillings, I would recommend 'CHICKEN FOR CHILDREN' Sir. 

When a person is not on a healthy diet and is too crazy over FAST FOOD, this is how he sees and examines the world’s brains and compares them to Fast food.

My 13 year old nephew said- Those astronauts have exhausted most of their brain with folds that are fully loaded with outer space knowledge, there is no space left for me to use their brain to learn earthly knowledge. Fully utilized brain, I would say they are only worth only about fifty dollars each. Yet, i won’t buy.

Those engineers, bankers, lawyers etc have exhausted their brains even more, with additional  overtime work until  their brain folds, fall flat everyday... Over utilized to the core, I would say their brains are only worth between twenty to thirty dollars each. Oh, i wont buy.

 I see  those  mc donald guys brains, were hardly being used, not many folds, must be still fresh and so full of space, pretty much the same like yester years, minimal change.. I am willing to pay ten thousand dollars for a pair of their brains. This I will buy!! i can eat mc donald for free too.

After the above jokes, HAZEL said: ”I have gone NUTS”, COCO said: “me too” 

Do visit cooking varieties coconut smoothies recipe- link here:

http://cooking-varieties.blogspot.com/2011/03/coconut-and-dragon-fruit-smoothies-or.html


GARAM MASALA PLEASE-

Cooking in most Indian, Pakistani and Punjabi dishes like curry and briyani rice.. Santosh, my guest blogger, in her post ,wrote on garam masala. Another blogger friend, Sarang Mangi , a guy who does not cook, posted a comment, He said- “ Garam masala reminds me of my aunt’s briyani ( flavored rice), When we eat that biryani, smoke starts from our ears…”

ha ha ha from your ears Sarang Mangi, wow! after that, where did the smoke go to huh? 

http://sindhitech-st.blogspot.com/

The smoke goes to the sky and form clouds, and then the clouds go to your city and starts raining :) ha ha ha

If you have any Foodie jokes to share, please put it down in my comment box, I may just publish them in my future Food jokes post. Thank you – smile, an everlasting smile

To whom it may concern… PLEASE DO NOT COPY MY JOKES WITHOUT MY WRITTEN PERMISSION…THEY ARE MY OWN ORIGINALS..